Pink Hair-itude


I work in an office. I’m supposed to be respectable. I’m broadly termed part of the “university administration.” So, along with the stodginess of science in academia and a state-run institution, there is very little room for flamboyancy.

Ok, I use that word and it comes with today’s societal context of “flamboyant” gay men. But let’s look at this as the true general definition of the word."Without mentioning any names, certain questionable liberties have been taken with our dress code."

Flamboyant: (adjective) (of a person or their behavior) tending to attract attention because of their exuberance, confidence, and stylishness.

Well, lord knows, I have zero confidence and exuberance, but what I did briefly have was pastel pink hair.

I waited, finding the perfect timing, for the holiday break. This year, I had almost two weeks off and I planned down to the second. When it comes to hair dye, once I get it in my head, ramp up the excitement over an idea, it must happen or it’s the end of the world.

I will stew and obsess and drive myself crazy until the plan is successfully completely.

Let’s hold a minute and underline successfully for this tale of pastelization woe and heartbreak.

I will stew and obsess and drive myself crazy until the plan is successfully completely.

The night before the Big Day (i.e. the day I believed I would be set free earlier than 5pm on the newly glittery world of pinkness right before the holiday break), I went out and bought the supplies.

My hair was already fairly faded from the last dye job of a medium ash blonde, so I figured the dye would easily go over, allowing a little depth from the still present darker hues beneath. Sounds reasonable, logical, yes? Well, in terms of reality, no. A big, fat, horrendous No.

After watching nearly 5 million youtube tutorials and reviews of pink hair dye, I went with the relatively unsung hero – Ion Color Briliance Semi-Permanent Brights Hair Color in Rose. Big, long, name to make it sound all well and good.

On the way home to do the deed, I even stopped and bought another tube – just in case. The tutorials I watched said the stuff was pretty thick and hard to spread, so add some conditioner to it. I did.

The color looked great as I spread it on my hair. I sat and patiently waited for over an hour for it to set. Excitedly, I rinsed and looked excitedly in the mirror….

Nothing. Not one even hint of a shade of pink. Nothing.

Ok, well, something f**ked up.

Next day, I ventured back to Sally’s and did the right thing to do this time – I asked the salesperson. “So, I want my hair pastel pink. What should I do?”

Don’t trust the internet, people. It lies.

So, her suggested – bleach the every loving hell out of it and go with what everyone and their dog uses. Trust the dogs.

Manic Panic. Cotton Candy. Yum!

And, conditioner was a no. Manic Panic actually makes a “pastelizer.” How futuristic sounding.

Purchased and done. It worked… kinda. Except for my sub par bleaching skills.

It was ok. But, it only lasted 4 days. Of my 11 vacation days, we were now down to 5.

Five days to get it perfect and keep it before I would have to get back to a color that could be reasonably found in nature.

So, I did it. I bought two tubs of Manic Panic Cotton Candy. Forget the pastelizer and left the sucker on for 3 hours.

Three hours later… success! Finally!

It again lasted only about 4 days, which was just fine considering the time left. Each day, when it faded just a little more, a little piece of pink-based happiness would fade as well.

I’m totally not a pastel kinda of girl and pink has never been the realm of my favorite colors, but as for a hair color, it was definitely one of my favorites.

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